REGRETS.

Yesterday I turned out loud AVICII
today, secondhand serenade is on
Replay~

It was the day I came back after the 9-days trip
to the place I used to wake up every morning.

It was the first time we both ever talked since then
really, many things have changed
I'm not surprised because it was the same for me, too.

Staring at the buildings and people of the city
moving through the clear window
with music so loud
figuring out, thinking.

There are approximately at least one
unfortunate person in every second
who was hopeless
decided to end it, this life
I'm not afraid to tell that I was
thinking someday that I could be the one.

As for hazel graze (The Fault In Our Star)
I'm a Grenade
there were so many, too many things
bursting, wandering around
chemicals (emotions) mixing, adding up
waiting to explode
I couldn't help but to shed a tear.

For real, I've never turn up to someone
crying or sharing my problems
Not because I don't want,
but because there was no someone
No one seems to be there or care
I don't blame them though,
because if it was me, I won't too.

But I'm afraid, what if this will stay
Forever?

Because everyone else seems to be okay
They can continue those conversations
They have identities
They have something
They are extraordinary.

And then, there's me,
the kid who got nothing.

Though,
There's this one picture I've always imagine
A Y-shaped intersection
Two different ways
And that I'm in the middle
Hesitating to decide
Will I be able to turn back
If I was wrong ?
Is there any chance of going back to
the middle when I took a step front?

I thought of every little things
that may help me relax
But there's always a battle inside of me
No, it's the other way around
Yes, you should do that
No, what would people say
No, don't care what other people say.

I don't expect anyone to understand
Because I don't, neither,

Regrets.
One day when I read these
30TH JULY.